There is a misconception, perpetrated by those who would stoke the fires of racism, that the word in question is being used daily to disparage those whose ancestors experienced slavery. When in fact, this word is used so infrequently and is so uncommon that one has to wonder if it’s still a part of the English language.
The “N” word is usually only used by the very people who feel it to be an insult, often it’s used as a term of endearment or a way to express closeness with others. Certain people believe this word can still be spoken by members of the same race but not by members of other races. It’s confusing, but keep in mind this word is used to keep racism alive and to instill in others a belief that there is a difference between people. Many don’t want racism to go away, nor do they wish to see the benefits provided to those with a victim mentality to disappear.
Also when it is used, the way in which it is spoken makes one wonder if the word hasn’t become another victim of ebonics. Ebonics is a lazy version of the English language where most consonants are shortened or omitted to make each sentence as short as possible.
Don’t get us wrong, this word is spoken by groups like Skinheads or the Ku Klux Klan, but try and be honest with yourself. When is the last time you’ve seen either of these? These two groups are about as uncommon as the “N” Word itself, and any time either of these groups makes an appearance it becomes front page news.
“There is another class of coloured people who make a business of keeping the troubles, the wrongs, and the hardships of the Negro race before the public. Having learned that they are able to make a living out of their troubles, they have grown into the settled habit of advertising their wrongs — partly because they want sympathy and partly because it pays. Some of these people do not want the Negro to lose his grievances, because they do not want to lose their jobs.” --Booker T. Washington
If someone says they were called the “N” word, the probability they are lying, trying to get free stuff or attempting to elicit sympathy is extremely high and every word they speak should be taken with a grain of salt.